[LOCKED. FOR GIRLS ONLY] Love?

I think Ms. Jing and Rejeenah were implying that I have feelings for Raf based on their replies to my post way, way back.

After reading their comments, I began asking myself if I do feel something for him? I spent days locked in my asking myself that question. I know I’m over reacting but I am actually scared.  And besides, of all people, why him?

Why?

Why?

Why?

I really can’t understand why. When I was a little girl, I told myself that I will only love a man who has the same qualities as my father – loyal, caring, loving… But now, Raf, he is completely different. As what he said in his meme, he is a womanizer.

Was it because 2 weeks ago, he finally called me Cheska? Ever since he joined us, he never called me by my name.  He’s the only one who is calling me Una. When he called me Cheska, I have to admit, my heart did skip a bit and I felt like my eyes were teary. But maybe because I was just surprised.

Or was it because of what he said (still) 2 weeks ago. When I went to the garden for my daily chores, I saw him there reading a cook book. He was probably thinking of what dishes he will be preparing for the birthday celebration. We chatted for a while. He complemented on how well I maintain Martina’s garden. Then his phone rang and he excused himself. It was one of his girlfriends. I know, because his expression and the tone of his voice changed. When he hung up, he told me he had to go because he had to meet somebody. But before he left, he picked a rose, smelled it and said with his back on me, ” Cheska, si sono come una rosa (you are like a rose). You have thorns that make it difficult for the person who finds you beautiful to reach you. You may not be aware of it but you are beautiful.” He turned, gave me the rose and left. I was just there sitting on the bench, frozen, with a rose on my hand. I’m not exactly sure of what he meant but it made my heart skip. I’m not sure if I’ll believe him but there’s a touch of sincerity in his voice. Sigh~

Still confused,

Cheska

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~ by Una on June 6, 2009.

One Response to “[LOCKED. FOR GIRLS ONLY] Love?”

  1. I cant blame you, now that you mentioned it, Raf has his way with words. I am actually grinning like an idiot here because i think he’s sweet. Yeah, only downfall is he’s a womanizer. Hope everything turns out fine.

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